New Autistic Condition Discovered (OGF) Through Neurodiversity

I have just learned that I am autistic. Like many adults who have suffered their entire lives and not known exactly why they were different, Neurodiversity helped me understand that my brain is wired differently. I have been perseverating on one thing for 43 years. I have been fixated on this one aspect of my life, sometimes ignoring pain and bleeding, many missed days at work, been called crazy for pursuing this fixation in rain, below zero temperatures, snow and 100 degree heat. I have the autistic condition known as Obsessive Golfing Fixation (OGF). I do not want to be cured.

I know I was born with OGF as was every male in my family. My grandfathers, all my uncles, all my cousins, my father and my brother all had OGF. One grandfather realized natural improvement in his symptoms and he was cured when he turned 97 and could no longer swing a club. All of the rest are still afflicted with this condition. However, we choose to celebrate this natural diversity. I'd like to thank Neurodiversity for pointing out that we should embrace our differences. We golfers are sick of being discriminated against by tyrannical employers insisting that we go to work on sunny days. To anyone with OGF, sunny days are an irresistible cue to call in sick and head to the golf course. It is much like autistic stimming. We just can't resist that urge because it is who we are and that need to golf should be accommodated by sadistic bosses. While everyone with OGF cares deeply about their work not being done or someone else being forced to do our job, our inherent need to play golf must be accepted as part of our condition. It is a part of us that can not be fixed. Any boss who insists that we show up for work instead of going golfing is bullying us and our government must make laws that allow us to celebrate the joy of OGF without fear of being fired.

Those of us with OGF are high functioning autistics. We have families, friends, college educations and good jobs. Many wives have tried to cure us but, so far, the only cure seems to be old age, feebleness and permanent injury. I do not want to be cured as that would be akin to killing the golfer within.

Since OGF has not yet been added to the DSM, it's important for all autism organizations to recognize this newly discovered subset of autistics so that society will accomodate our needs. We would be much happier if the government paid all our greens fees and provided us with disability payments so we could concentrate on golfing all the time without being bothered by mundane things like work.

OGF is a genetic condition that began with a defective gene in Scotland in the 19th century. The condition is now worldwide and affects millions of people, mostly men. This discovery drives a stake into the hearts of all those crazy people who tried to blame thimerosal for causing autism. With this, we now know that millions of people with the autistic subset called OGF have existed for well over a century. We need support, not a cure. Since all the great golfers in history must have been autistic, it would be cruel and abusive for anyone to try to cure OGF and deny the world the next Sam Snead or Tiger Woods. Let's declare OGF a disability so we can stop the abuse of golfers now.